Thanks to my friend Shelley for inspiring this reflection.

We start hockey season this week and I’ve been feeling nervous and discouraged because last season pretty much sucked with ECT and being in and out of the hospital. I lost a lot of my endurance and gained weight and now my equipment feels tight.

But here’s the thing, I want to play hockey because I LOVE hockey and well, dammit if that isn’t a good enough reason to lay my ego aside and get out there even if I’m the slowest slug on the ice.

So cheers to starting fresh and loving what your body CAN do instead of hating what it can’t. I likely won’t ever be the fastest on the ice, but that is no reason to quit.

Go HERicanes!!!


Let Everything Happen

Let everything happen to you:

beauty and terror.

Just keep going.

No feeling is final.

– Rainer Maria Rilke

A dear friend, Karis, shared this quote with me awhile ago, maybe last year sometime.

I took to it and buried it deep inside and have come to it again and again (and still yet again) in my most difficult moments.

Everything I know and have learned about dealing with depression, borderline personality disorder and suicidal ideation boils down to this.

There is life in these words.