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Sometimes Kathryn and I forget that we’re snuggled in soft cushions. Our world is full of love and acceptance and light.

We forget the world is still harsh and cold in many places, to many faces.

And then someone comes along and ‘lovingly’ slaps us with their version of ‘truth.’

Someone who once cared for me, babysat me when my dad was in the hospital, someone I considered an extra parent when my parents were overcome by my brother’s illness.

She doesn’t know how much this slap stings. She posted something on my mother’s facebook, something she thought my mother needed to hear, because “it is the truth of the Word of God.”

Her version of truth, that my mom needs to hear, because my mom is openly supportive of her gay daughter.

Me – in all my gayness – she loves.

Kathryn – in all her gay-itude – she loves.

Us – in all our queer-marriage-homo-loving-rainbow-coloured-PRIDE – my mother loves and accepts and celebrates and supports.

Do you see the difference between ‘loving’ someone and loving someone?

My mother, with her fierce love to protect and nourish, wildly embraces what is best for me – the union of my heart and soul with the one who brings light into my world, this woman next to me.

Our gender is irrelevant – to us, to our parents, to God.

But the slap stings still, because my heart aches for all the gay kids (young and old) that don’t have the soft cushions to protect them from these hurts. My heart breaks for the ones who believe they are not enough. The ones who have been told their love is not pure, not sacred.

My love for Kathryn is sacred.

How could anyone suggest otherwise?

And the slap stings because I still get scared. Because I too, as much as you, am vulnerable to fear and shame. And whether those voices rage or whisper, their message is the same. Gay is not okay.¬†Or, the thinly veiled version “gay is okay, but straight is better.”

So where should I turn when the world slaps me for who I love?

The small voice inside me, the one that still sings,

This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine.

Tonight, she is the moon.
She is the light on my horizon.
She loves with her whole soul and reminds me to breathe.
I am more wholly me because of her love.

Tonight, she is depth.
She is the northern lights.
She finds beauty in pain and hopes with abandon.
This love persists beyond fear.

Tonight, she carries flowers.
She is early signs of spring.
She warms my heart with her touch and steals my breath with her smile.
Home is wherever I’m with her.

We live these sacred moments.
Whatever happens, this is.


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